It was a bad idea: a "Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me" review

Mariko Tamaki's graphic novels have been hit and miss for me. While there was something captivating about two prior collaborations with her cousin in the past, This One Summer and Skim, both lacked a strong plot and didn't capture any likable moments for their characters (the former a little more so in terms of those likable moments; I wasn't a fan of the latter). However, I was stubborn about giving Tamaki another chance, so when a full-length blurb came out for this book (the more I look at it on my copy, the more I cringe because it's really not that great), I put it on my TBR, bought myself a copy, flipped through it to see truly stunning artwork, and then didn't read it for half a year.

I'm so happy I got around to it, though. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me isn't quite as sweet as its flap copy and pink accent color would like you to believe. It's quiet and heartbreaking, a story of a young woman turning her back on friends in favor of a girlfriend she desperately hopes will be better than the last time but never is. There are tender moments; Freddy's friend group and the new connections she makes have a lot of heart, and much like a lot of contemporary YA, things end happily, but unlike some of the genre, the ending is what Freddy deserves. Although a few subplots receive little time on the page, S-tier artwork by Rosemary Valero-O'Connell and some of the most insightful writing Tamaki has ever written make this book a YA queer graphic novel opus of the decade, and I'm truly fortunate to live in a world where something like this exists.

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Freddy Riley keeps on getting broken up with. Her on-again, off-again girlfriend Laura Dean may be tall and gorgeous and exuding confidence, something that Freddy wants in her life, but that love doesn't feel returned. The start of the graphic novel finds Freddy witnessing her girlfriend making out with another girl at a Valentine's Day dance, e-mailing columnist Anna Vice for a way out over downing a mini bottle of Schnapps's, her best friends comforting her all the while. But somehow, Freddy finds herself back in Laura Dean's orbit, hoping once again that perhaps this time will be different. This time, she'll feel like Laura Dean actually cares about her; she won't feel like one of the many pegs on Laura Dean's game board. But how much is Freddy willing to sacrifice to achieve this love? With every passing day, her friends are slipping further and further away, best friend Doodle in a time where she needs Freddy the most of all. And even the platonic connection with constant worker Vi opening Freddy's eyes isn't enough to fill the holes left behind by Laura Dean. What's left to do?

I can't talk about the story proper without first discussing Valero-O'Connell's absolutely stunning art. Words cannot describe how amazing it is. It calls to mind the atmospheric flairs of the anime adaptation of Ai Yazawa's Paradise Kiss manga. There's a lot of special detail on the fauna in Berkeley, California, where the graphic novel is set, and Valero-O'Connell puts a lot of detail into background characters, buildings, and emotional nuances through shading and bringing out the aforementioned pink. There are numerous gorgeous panels that need to be seen to believed. It's nice to have an illustrator that puts just as much weight into the character's facial expressions and emotional complexities as the world they live. It's truly a treat.

But Tamaki also deserves her full share of the credit as well. I haven't always gelled with her writing in the past because she tends to write unlikable characters that don't know they're unlikable and plots that wander between events in a slice-of-life way, leaving much unresolved. However, that isn't the case with this book. Every character recognizes their mistakes and owns them, even if they find themselves stumbling into them again, and the main friend group is a quirky and likable bunch. Freddy is an empathetic protagonist, and her stubborn belief in Laura Dean is understandable despite the heart-wrenching anger it leaves in its wake. Her friendship with Doodle is a wonderful anchor when it punches throughout the piece, highlighting the importance of platonic relationships that can sometimes be stitched together with multiple toys. Freddy's new friend, Vi, is also great, working multiple jobs to save up for college and serving as a confidante when Freddy doesn't have anyone else. Moments with Freddy's parents that hint at tension between husband and wife, Freddy's pesky little brother, the brief flicker of sexual tension Mo throws into the picture (hello, first non-binary person I've seen in YA!), and even Laura Dean herself with her frustrating neediness for Freddy like an affectionate weapon, all support the story somehow, and the episodes that tie the story together feel cohesive and like they're all meant to be together, even moments that don't feel completely relevant to the plot.

I also adore how Buddy and Eric, the intersectional gay couple everyone deserved, get their own sweet moments as well, although the reader never sees how their brief tiff resolves until they're okay again.

The stuffed animal creations play another role within the story of Laura Dean. At some moments, they're given voices and speak out about Freddy's mental state or reply to circumstances around them. Tamaki and Valero-O'Connell never specify if these moments are Freddy hallucinating or magical realism poking through the cracks. Regardless, even if they never go anywhere, they're intriguing moments that add some charm to the graphic novel.

If there are any weaknesses to Laura Dean, there are a few subplots that never resolve once they're started. Some of these include tension between Freddy's mom and dad, Buddy facing a homophobic bully, and tension within Buddy and Eric's relationship. They offer insight into Freddy's world, one of dwindling heteronormative values despite the queer community's own strife, but little else since we don't see how they finish. Freddy's journey does matter most, however, so perhaps that's why they're mentioned and never seen. Still, it would've been nice to see some loose ends tied up for more than just Freddy.

Regardless, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me is a true work of art. Tamaki's prose and Valero-O'Connell's drawings come together to create a visceral experience full of longing, heartbreak, and beauty. It pierces through its languid pace to remind readers to make sure they're okay and receiving the love they not only need but deserve. It's one of the strongest narratives of this year, and I hope readers are able to take a lot away from it.